Gratuitous photo post: Day in review

(NB: Another dissertation post with beaucoup thoughts on development coming soon. But for now my brain needs to take a break, hence the following.)

This hasn't been an easy week. I've been waking up at 6am or before most mornings to make coffee and immediately start working. (I am not alone in this. I've talked to several other fellow grad students who have had to ramp up the same way as the workload seems to be spiraling out of control nearing the end of term. 4 hours of sleep per night seems to be about average for my cohort.) As my sleep deprivation increases throughout the week, so does my coffee consumption. Today I had a cup of coffee, two cappuccinos, and I've ended the day with green tea. I won't be consuming alcohol this weekend because I will probably be putting in 12-16 hour days on both Saturday and Sunday (oops, aside from a Sunday brunch scheduled with an old college friend passing through town). Tonight I am staying home from Brazilian Carnaval festivities to get started on an essay. This promises to be one of my rougher weekends of the term.

Last Friday night I was doing this:


But today, since I knew I had a rough weekend ahead of me with no partying in sight, I decided to seize what was left of this rare beautiful London day as soon as I got home from class and dragged Nathan out for a walk in the park:

But I felt guilty for having not run yesterday, so I turned around, went back home, and went for a run. This was when I caught back up with Nathan again:

I discovered running about a year ago, and I have to say it is one of the most amazing things ever. It keeps me more sane and happy that just about anything else (although perhaps the 'sane' part isn't so evident in this picture). I am hoping to do a half-marathon in May when I get back from Malawi, but I'm having my doubts now since I realized I probably won't be able to keep up my running regime when I'm there. (Unless there are any azungu in Balaka looking for running partners - let me know, Tamara!)

Oh yeah, so I'm going to Malawi for four weeks over spring break. Although it will be fun, this will be a WORKING vacation. I have a big consultancy project report to finish, which is due the day after spring break. Not to mention the bulk of my initial dissertation research. And I'll be touching base with Bola Moyo's work most of the days that I am there, like a good board member would do. I'm looking forward to seeing the kids again and the adult literacy students (apparently there are MANY more now than the last time I was there). These are some of the people who inspired me to go back to school, so it will be good to have a reminder of why I am doing what I'm doing this year. It is all too easy to forget.

This is a frantic pace. At times it scares me, but I love it. And this weekend I will embrace it.

3 more weeks!

See you on the flip side.

Ode to People!

As an addendum to my last post: just so you know, I don't actually hate grad school. Most days, at least. Monday was just an exceptionally bad day! Most days I love it here, although I am challenged by the new experience of feeling dumb on a daily basis compared to my peers. They amaze and inspire me. I work so much harder and learn so much more because of them.

Take one of my bestest buds, Maggie (also known as Zamibia - yes. Zamibia!). I don't know how this girl does it, but she's both a rampant partier (she's from Vegas!) and the hardest, most efficient worker I know (probably doesn't read as many blogs as I do!). She moved here after living in Namibia for four years, and we saw each other through immense culture shock when we both first arrived in London. She is one fantastic lady. In fact, the longer I'm here and the more I get to know people here, the more I adore them--unusual for a misanthrope such as myself. I was at a birthday dinner the other night and I realized that almost all of us were from different countries. (And somehow, we never tire of talking politics and development, or making fun of one anothers' accents in the most non-politically correct manner possible!) Where else could I possibly experience such company? It's hard to believe I only have three more weeks of class--then it's spring break, exam time (scary!), and dissertation writing time (scarier!).

Life is beautiful, and too short.

Grad school induced profanity

(No, really. I MEAN IT, folks! This is uncensored frustration...)

So yesterday I went to this seminar that I have every Monday. I almost didn't go due to exhaustion, but I think, 'What's the worst that could happen?' Well, the worst (or one of the worst, barring injury/death) is that the teacher could pick on you to give a 10 minute presentation on all the literature (drawing all these different linkages, etc) with only 20 minutes to prepare, while everyone else gets to give a 'rigorous academic critique' of what you say. Fuck you, PhD students who think you are hot shit and can torture masters students--seriously, FUCK YOU. That is what I will think from now on whenever I see this lady.

I mean, obviously I lived through it, but still. How does that actually facilitate learning in any way whatsoever?!

Managing the contextual challenge of behavior change media

I think this is what I have settled on. I am most excited about this one, and I also think I have the most resources for it in terms of contacts right now. I still need to talk to my dissertation supervisor about it... but seriously, he really doesn't care too much about what I do. I could go into that more (a tirade in fact!), but I won't.

I like the idea of using media to reach the masses--like soap operas and radio shows--especially for isolated areas. Facilitating contact with and knowledge of the outside world, etc, even/especially for those who are illiterate. However, there is this immense challenge of context. How do we engage in promoting behavior change through mass communications when the context of, say, risky behaviors that contract HIV, is different everywhere? Is it even possible for mass media to adapt contextually? And if so, how can we measure the impact of contextual adaptation? And what the hell kind of methodology am I going to use to answer these questions?!?!

Woah. I need more coffee. There is never enough time to think about it all and get it all done! I am tired yet inspired all the time these days. Off to campus for class now. This life is exhausting and fantastic...

Edutainment/Soap operas in Africa?!

One of the ideas I keep coming back to that seems more frivolous than others is the general topic of education through media as well as social marketing, specifically via soap operas. I never watch soap operas in the states, but I know they have a wide audience throughout Sub-Saharan Africa and thus huge potential for information dissemination. I also seem to keep finding organizations that are doing this sort of work over and over and over this year....

In any case, if I were to write my own soap opera script, it would be about a young Malawian (or Kenyan, since that's what I know) woman in her mid-20s, married with a few children who goes back and pursues her education through informal means. In fact, I think the story would involve a whole group of women in a literacy program, the daily ins and outs of their lives, as well as the trials and tribulations they encounter as they try to achieve 'personal development.'

Oh my gods, this sounds like SUCH fun. I am a HUGE dork.

mal d'afrique

This might sound ridiculous, but life in London is hard right now. I have been in a melancholy mood for the past several days.

This is a city in which it is challenging - to say the least! - to keep a connection with nature, with a cause, with yourself. It is a concrete and asphault jungle, one in which it is so easy to get lost...

February in London is a wall of clouds.

I wish I could take advantage of all this city has to offer, but this year I have neither the money nor the time. And I'm left feeling selfish and a little ridiculous because even as I enjoy all these big city luxuries and try to appreciate them, I can't - or at least I don't. And oddly I am left missing the cold bucket baths, the filthy tired feet, and the rooster-induced sleep deprivation of the days I've spent in Africa. Hello again, Romanticization, my tired friend!

I know this is at least partially Mal d'Afrique - an old familiar feeling, one that is always uncomfortable and disconcerting. One that I love to hate... or hate to love? I'll never know.

Vomit forth!

WARNING!!! One of my favorite high school English teachers told me that the beginning stage of any paper is called the "Vomit Forth!" stage. When you have writer's block, just beginning writing. Let go of your inhibitions and write - anything at all. Scribble down ALL the ideas and arguments that pass through your mind, even if you know they're terrible. The important part is to just write SOMETHING, and eventually you'll happen upon the right argument. In my experience, she is absolutely right. Even my best work has always had to go through this stage.

Let this serve as a warning that this entry is one of THOSE entries.

I reiterate: you've been warned.

***

Alas, my dissertation idea has not become more clear or more definite as time has gone on. Instead I just change my mind every 5 minutes. There is just too much that is interesting in the world that I desperately want to investigate!

My recent "ZING!" idea would have had me examining the relationship between NGO prevalence and state capacity/institutional development. This came to me as I reflected on the time I spent in Kenya and Malawi, both countries I view as oversaturated with NGOs (particularly the latter). Many of these NGOs provide public services and essentially replace the state in that regard. I have to wonder, why would any rational state actor be motivated to develop their institutions to better provide such public services as health and education if international NGOs are falling all over themselves to provide those services to their citizenry? Why are some states, such as Malawi and Bangladesh, still so desperately poor after decades of NGO attention? Do they NGOs provide a perverse incentive to the state to further formalize and develop? (Of course, there is also the tried and tired question of, are NGOs reinforcing povery in order to keep themselves in business???) Unfortunately, there is not much empirical evidence out there on this. I instantly run into problems with my methodology -- if I look at a weak state with significant NGO prevalence, I cannot trace the direction of this correlation. Are NGOs there because the state is weak, or is the state weak because the NGOs are there? I feel that if this question were actually answerable, there would be literature out there tackling it. So far I haven't found anything. My spouse and my best friend here at LSE are both extremely excited about this idea and very encouraging, but can't quite point to a solution for the problems that have come up in terms of methodology and data. And I'm certainly in no position to be doing hundreds of regressions and cross-country comparisons in a 10,000 word dissertation. I couldn't even touch the iceberg on this issue, which makes me sad. It's so damn interesting.

I've also been considering looking into the impacts in countries where governments have prohibited informal markets (as in Uganda, Zimbabwe, and Malawi). This seems to be a trend in Africa in the past several years, and I cannot really wrap my mind around it. It seems utterly insane for a government to prohibit the livelihoods of 80% of its population, especially when those same governments have such ridiculous requirements for formal business registration. My first assumption is that it makes the lives of the poor that much harder, and black markets that much more clandestine, but maybe that is not the case. Perhaps these governments have softened business registration requirements and the formal market is being strengthened, which would be a good thing -- but I suspect that is not the case. I want to determine the coping mechanisms of the poor under such circumstances.

For one of my classes this week we are examining the role of the private sector in development. So now, of course, I'm interested in Corporate Social Responsibility (and the common opinion on this is that it's a joke -- but I'm interested to see the extent to which this is true), the co-production of development in societies by business + NGOs, and the co-creation of actual business systems by those actors (and the symbiosis developed between profit and non-profit ventures). I've long since thought NGOs were mostly inefficient and ineffective in what they do, and there is still this lingering question in the back of my mind about so-called development which one of my classmates put so well the other day when he exclaimed "If you want to bring someone out of poverty, give them a damn job!" So many think of microfinance as the panacea. We can talk about empowerment, but let's also talk about wage employment and more importantly, CHOICE. Not everyone has the skills to be a self-employed entrepreneur, not everyone wants to, and they shouldn't HAVE to. So in this, where is the role of business? I think it's key, in a lot of respects, yet as I mentioned before the governments of many underdeveloped countries put up insane barriers to new businesses (both local and international). What is their motivation for this, and how can such destructive policies be changed in a non-exploitative fashion? I ask about larger businesses (small to medium enterprises, not necessarily multinationals), because more and more I am entirely unconvinced of the merits of microfinance for many reasons - which I won't go into now, or this will become even more of a tirade.

And then another idea. This morning on the plane (we took a quick last-minute "let's get the hell out of London and go somewhere sunny" trip this weekend) I was talking with my husband about the difficulties of insurance policies in the developing world -- and how very badly the poor need insurance for anything and everything (crop failure, widowhood, livestock, life and health, etc)... and yet insurance companies by their very nature have to deny as many claims as they possibly can. The burden of proof for crop failure is on the client, and at the same time the client could falsely claim crop failure at any time. Insurance is very difficult to do right in such a context, and I am racking my brain for a solution that has not yet come to me. For issues such as health, it's a bit easier with insurance in the form of vouchers -- in Uganda there is a program with malaria vouchers, which allows the poor to buy them when they have the money to use at a later date -- and when they come down with malaria they have protection. But how can insurance be done properly for crop failure and livestock death? This is a huge issue. Any ideas, dear readers?

I'm also interested in the role of adult and informal education, but this is a topic I've researched a lot and have done previous papers on. I kind of want to do something different, yet it is stil one of my biggest passions and perhaps for a dissertation I should focus on exploiting my comparative advantage? ;)


Owww... such topics go round and round in my head and often collide with one another with full force. It's enough to give me a full-on headache, and yet I love it. I have been told by more than one that I am a masochist for doing what I'm doing. But I am so lucky to be here, to be doing what I'm doing, and I would not trade it for another life or line of work for anything in the world.

****

And with that, it's time for a beer with the aforementioned friend, Maggie. My friend Dustin recently decided that the answer to any of life's tough questions was "Beer!" I suspect he might be onto something.